Loose Change

My current problem with change is the fact that the changes I want and need the most are the ones I have the least control over.  These much needed changes (which will be discussed when I'm prepared to tackle that potential disappointment) have been the focus of most of my energy since I initiated them.  I'm trying to step back and realize that this is wasted energy.  All I can do at this point is wait.  I hate waiting. (Maybe next year, I can focus on patience.)  I have to turn my attention to changes I can make independently.

Changes

I don't make New Year Resolutions.  Never have.  I actually don't like doing anything just because it's expected or everyone else is doing it.  Despite my disdain for this annual ritual, I still realize the importance of making changes, evolving.  In the past, I've tried different approaches to my New Year "Anti-Resolution".  I feel like traditional resolutions don't work because they are too generic, for example, the ever popular "loose weight" resolution.  One year, Jacob and I both decided to give up sodas. (How's that for specific?)  We still rarely drink sodas (I didn't drink any sodas last year).  Last year, rather than a specific goal, I chose a word.  This was inspired by a morning radio show I heard while channel surfing through the FM stations on my way home from work.  My word was "peace".  I'm a very stressed out, high-strung girl most of the time so I found this to be an appropriate choice for me.  I tried to focus on my word when making decisions.  I even used it as an affirmation.  I need peace in my life and I want to project peace onto those I come into contact with throughout my day.  I plan to continue to carry last years word into this year, as it still remains relevant.

This year, I'm choosing another word, almost a theme rather than a word.  My word for 2012 is "change".  It may sound hypocritically generic, but I found it appropriate at this point in my life. 

 

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.  -Albert Einstein

I need some new "results" in my life so its time to so things differently this year and see what happens.